There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We are two peas in an std pod
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
