I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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