Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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