no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
