Nicole vs. Life
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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