Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
