Don't you send me to vm
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
