y did u give ur computer a hand job?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
