bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
