i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
