i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
