When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I touched a dick in church today
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