They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
