I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
