you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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