how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
