my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
