your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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