yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
