hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Houston, we have a squirter
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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