He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
