Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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