well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
