There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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