thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
high people should be assigned attendants
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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