I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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