I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
