the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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