I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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