your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
