I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
