So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
