i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
