I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
