OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
