moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
