i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
