I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
