im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
