She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I would ride that face into the sunset
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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