the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
