# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
