I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
