his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
