1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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