I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
