Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
