I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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