I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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