HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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